The Never-ending List: Part One

Okay, so I guess we're writing this as sort of a diary.

A big diary full of secrets and curse words and make up tips. Probably more curse words than you'd like to read.

We wanted to start off with a list of things to make you and us and most people feel better. These are things that we're constantly telling each other and things that we should be telling ourselves always. We're honestly such good friends to each other. SUCH. GOOD. FRIENDS.

(P.S. The different colours of text are so you can tell us apart, if you haven't already caught on to that.)

So here we gooooo! WOOO!

1. You're not crazy. I can't even count the amount of times in my life where I've apologized for being crazy. There's this stigma surrounding women that jealousy, and being offended by certain things, and wanting attention make us crazy but that's not true. We've been raised in a society that's taught us to compete with other women. A society that wants us to feel less than we are. A society that wants us to be okay with being looked down on. And being mad about that and voicing how you feel about it does not make you crazy. It makes you a strong person who knows what she wants and if other people choose to see that as crazy then so be it, but just know that you're not. You're allowed to ask questions, you're allowed to speak your mind, and you're allowed to want attention goddamn it! I always hate that women are made to feel "naggy" when they're just expressing their feelings or telling someone they wish they would pay more attention to them. It's not a bad thing to want and need attention. If someone calls you needy or naggy then thats their problem. Everyone just wants to feel wanted.

2. Its okay to wear a cake layer of makeup on your face and it's okay to not wear any at all. It's okay to only wear a little bit. It's okay if you don't even understand make-up. It's okay if you present as male and you wear makeup! I have a hard time with this one, because I'm surrounded by so many men who tell me they prefer women without makeup and women who tell me they don't wear makeup to make a point. And, like, all of that is totally valid, but it should have no effect on how I present myself. Like, yeah dude, if you prefer girls who wear no makeup and shit, that's awesome, but why would that effect any of the decisions I make for myself? Like I'm not gonna just start not wearing makeup because you said that. You don't need to live up to other peoples' expectations. I wear a face full of makeup and I feel beautiful. Sometimes I'll go a couple days without it. That's okay. I still love my face. I always see girls with no makeup on the bus and applaud them. But then I see those girls at Sephora and applaud them too. You girls are brave regardless of what you wear on your face. In a society like we have, it's almost impossible to satisfy anyone so just do me a favour and satisfy yourself. 

3. Befriend yourself. You know when your friend is having a really bad day and you try to do everything possible to cheer them up? You're allowed to do that for yourself too. If you'd tell your friend to drink a nice cup of tea and watch an episode of Sex and the City or count to ten and breathe deeply or go to the gym and sweat it out (!!!!!) or do a little yoga, take your own advice. You're allowed to treat yourself like you love yourself. I'm still learning how to do this, I'm definitely not an expert, but I know that it's important in feeling good. 

4. If you forget your chicken in the oven for 3 hours and accidentally make the house smell like burnt chicken and turn it into jerky, it's forgivable. I just did that. (This is so funny omg)

5. Crying doesn't make you weak. This is a huuuuuge one for me. I cry so damn much I don't know what to do with myself. I could literally water lawns with the amount of tears I cry in a week. And it's not because I'm sad all the time, it is the odd time but for the most part it isn't. I'm just so sensitive and things get to my heart immediately. I've always felt like this makes me a really difficult person. I have a hard time saying my feelings out loud because I immediately cry even if I'm not sad and then I can't formulate sentences or say my thoughts the way I want to at all. I'm still adjusting to this and unfortunately, the older I get the more emotional I become. Fucking hormones, man. I used to (and still sometimes do) keep my feelings inside because it's just so hard for me to explain myself. But I'm slowly learning to speak through my tears and know that my feelings still matter even if they're hard to understand, and if the people in your life love you (which praise some imaginary lord somewhere, I have the most loving people in my life) they'll listen, no matter what. Lately I've been trying to not think about things that make me sad and I push everything to the back of my mind until one small thing happens and I can't stop crying. Like the other day I saw a play and I cried during a happy musical number and just learned that I should probably just face my sadness and allow myself to cry when I need to. Crying is healthy and a good way to burn off the stress hormone (cortisol) is through tears! 

6. You shouldn't feel guilty about any of your pleasures. I used to always be so self conscious about what people thought about my taste in film or music or even books. Me too! This is such a good one. But I learned that no one is really THAT cool that they have the right to judge you on any one of those things. I listen to Fall Out Boy religiously, I don't have any interest in learning about Lars Von Trier and Dogme 95 because I love watching horrible movies like She's the Man or Bring It On, AND I love the oh-so-problematic Twilight books AND the movies. I listen to ABBA on a daily basis and I know for a fact that no one listens to My Chemical Romance anymore besides me. I just found out that they brought the store HotTopic to Canada and I'm gonna shop there on the regular. I've seen Lord of the Rings more times than I can count. Sometimes I'll buy a Cosmopolitan just for the sex tips. I've played over 20 Nancy Drew mystery games on PC. I played the Kardashian game on my phone TWICE. I HAVE HORRIBLE TASTE. But it's great to me. I love my taste. It all makes me feel good. and honestly life is so hard that there shouldn't be anything or anyone stopping you from indulging in your horrible taste and guilty pleasures. Now go listen to those 4 Panic! At The Disco albums. You deserve it. All of these things are so cute, and that's another thing too: if you are around people who make you feel ashamed for the things that you like, they're assholes and you need to get rid of them immediately, or at least just tell them they're assholes. Anyone who makes you feel inadequate or stupid because you have an obsession with little baby and puppy videos (me) or you like to shape your eyebrows more than you should because it's FUN and you love it (also me) can suck a butt. They're not worth your time and you need to surround yourself with people who appreciate and treasure everything about you even if they don't necessarily enjoy the same things.

7. Don't work out to be skinnier. Another one I struggle with sighhhhh. I'm not saying I think I'm fat and I'm not asking for that kind of attention but there's that constant pressure put on girls to look a certain way and society and blah blah blah and social norms and the beauty industry and blah blah and bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. But the point is, it does weigh down on me and makes me feel pretty terrible sometimes, just like I'm sure it does to a lot of other people too. Megan said this thing to me once (thank you, friend) about working out and how she does it just to feel like she's doing something good for her body and I just had a moment where I was like "duhhhh??!!!" Like, this thought had never even crossed my mind. I got so caught up in images and people's butts being firmer than mine and looking good in tight clothes that I totally forgot I should be working out to be healthier and that's all. All of the benefits of being healthy (weight loss, muscle tone, etc.) will happen if I just focus on being stronger and healthier than I was the day before. I've been slacking on the gym lately and I have no excuses, but when I do go, I enjoy it SO MUCH just because all of that silly "skinny" pressure is taken off when I focus on my insides instead. Also, as mentioned above with the crying, sweat is another way to burn off the stress hormones and also releases endorphins which is why those people that do crossfit are always so goddamn fucking happy. But if you just do some normal exercises every day, even stretching is good for your body, then you'll feel a lot less stressed and anxious! (I'm not a doctor I'm only speaking from personal experience and what I've read on LIVESTRONG lol)